4 Ways to Find Your Perfect Match - wikiHow (2024)

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1Putting Yourself Out There

2Being Yourself

3Knowing What You Deserve

4Having Patience

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Co-authored byLouie Felix

Last Updated: April 18, 2024

Everyone wants to find a special person they truly connect with. Countless pieces of literature, music and art have confronted this same goal. Romance can be a struggle, but also an inspiring muse. If you're willing to work for it and truly believe there is someone special for you, you can find love.

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

Putting Yourself Out There

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  1. 1

    Open up and start dating now. The sooner you pursue romance, the sooner you'll find that special someone. It may be scary, but you have to start somewhere.

    • Start with something as little as changing your body language. Avoid slouching, crossing your legs and arms, and stiffness. If you pull your shoulders back and relax you become approachable. [1]
    • To break the ice and dive into the dating world, you could try finally going out with that acquaintance who's been crushing on you.
      • You may not be totally interested in every person you date, but it will give you experience.
  2. 2

    Pay attention to your daily activities. For instance, instead of using your smartphone to distract yourself, take the initiative to look around your regular spots. Your future sweetheart may be closer than you think, so try talking to someone you find interesting.

    • Strike up conversation with someone you often see at your favorite coffee shop.
    • Ask a colleague out for a casual drink after work.

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  3. 3

    Do something you've always wanted to do. You may meet someone special while doing something fulfilling. This special someone might not be your usual type, but that could bring you fresh experiences in love and life.

    • By trying new things together an unexpected and exciting love could blossom. There is a reason why the phrase “opposites attract” exists. [2]
      • For example, you enjoy skydiving and your date loves to read poetry at the park. The combination of a sense of adventure and an appreciation for simplicity could create a wonderful yin and yang.
  4. 4

    Get an online dating profile. If you're too busy or nervous to physically put yourself out there, try it digitally. Dating websites and apps make it easy to find people who share the same interests. With just the click of a button you could meet your special someone.

    • In this technological age, it is very common for couples find each other through dating websites and apps.[3] To find your perfect dating website or app, browse the internet using key words that best describe your identity. Many websites and apps cater to specific hobbies, careers, and philosophies:
      • Hinge
      • Tinder
      • How About We
      • OkCupid
      • FarmersOnly.com
      • JSwipe
      • Match.com
      • Eventsandadventures.com
    • Stick to sites and apps that are specifically geared toward dating rather than scrolling social media apps like Instagram or Facebook.
    • Reader Poll: We asked 647 wikiHow readers and only 9% recommend following and engaging with social media accounts as the best way to meet women online. [Take Poll]
  5. 5

    Get a friend to set you up. The majority of couples still meet through their friends, so why not give it a try.[4] Ask someone you trust if they know anyone you might vibe with. When it comes to the trials of finding love, your friend may be the best judge.

    • If you're trying to talk to someone you like, your friends can be the best support system. They can help you get the conversation going, boost your ego and leave you to do the rest.
    • Try going on a double date. You'll probably be more comfortable in the presence of a friend and have a great time.
    • Ask your friends to help you set up that online profile! As a third party, they can objectively choose which pictures you look best in and help you pick who to pursue.
    • You can also use a professional matchmaking service to help you meet people who might suit your interests.[5]
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Method 2

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  1. 1

    Be honest. Feel free to express your true opinions and personality. If your suitor sticks around, your company was found truly enjoyable. If another date doesn't come about, you may feel rejected, but this proves that you were just not meant to be. Being honest and being true to yourself can help you avoid wasting time while dating.

    • Furthermore, acting the way you think your suitor wants you to act rather than being yourself can foster feelings of resentment, stress, and discomfort. These feelings do not set a solid foundation for a relationship.[6]
  2. 2

    Attend more events that interest you. You might find someone there who shares the interests and more! This event and the commonalities you have will create easy talking points, and might lead to a first date.

    • If you love literature and art, join a book club or get active in the artistic community.
    • If you love to cook, take a cooking class and whip up conversation with a fellow chef.
    • Even if you don't connect with anyone, you're still doing something you love.
  3. 3

    Follow your instincts. Your suitor may not fit the ideal picture you had in mind, but if it feels right, pay attention to that. On the contrary, if there's anything that is disturbing to you, don't ignore the signs.

    • Your unconscious mind responds to situations that reflect your goals (in this case being romance), so it's always good to trust your gut.[7]
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Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

Knowing What You Deserve

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  1. 1

    Make a list. Bullet point the negatives and the positives you find in your suitor. There should always be a longer list of positives if you want to maintain a healthy relationship.

    • Keep adding to the list because everyday you could learn something positive or negative about your suitor.
    • After a fight take a look at the list. It may help you appreciate what you have, or realize what you're lacking.
    • This is a great exercise to put your relationship into a logical perspective. It may come in handy in times of stress. You might realize it's not your partner making you miserable, it's actually, for example, your job or your diet.
    • This can also be helpful when you're looking for someone to date—make a list of the qualities you want, as well as your deal-breakers. However, it's important to remember that no single person is going to be 100% of what you're looking for. However, if you're open and willing to compromise, you should be able to find someone who meets most of what you're looking for.[8]
  2. 2

    Think about what you will gain. Your perfect match should complement your current status and help you flourish.[9]Relationships are not stagnant, they will roll and fluctuate with progression and regression. But ultimately you want to find your relationship make positive leaps and bounds.

    • Think about important aspects like:
      • Does your suitor support your goals?
      • Will your suitor push you to reach new heights?
      • Does your suitor inspire you?
  3. 3

    Look for the qualities you respect. Remember the Golden Rule, "treat others the way you would like to be treated". If those you are pursuing lack major components that are important to you, do not overlook this.

    • Pay attention to how your love interest treats others. Your suitor may treat you well, but if others are treated with disrespect, take that into future consideration.
    • Think about what your suitor's relationships are like with their friends and family. Depending on circ*mstance, this could give you good insight into how your relationship might turn out.
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Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

Having Patience

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  1. 1

    Be confident. The quest to love is worth it and so are you! Confidence is attractive both physically and mentally, so boost your conviction and love who you are.[10]

    • Confident people are great salespeople. You confidently market yourself and prove to others why you are worthwhile.
    • Furthermore, by having confidence in your date, your date will most likely like you too. We tend to like those who like us.[11]
  2. 2

    Don't give up. Don't stop dating just because you haven't found the one yet. More dates means more opportunities for love, it's just statistics. Everything worth having is worth fighting for.

    • You may not fall in love on the first date, but you never know, it could happen on the second, 15th or even 100th date.
  3. 3

    Learn from mistakes. With a lot of dating can come a lot of mistakes, if not on your part then on your date's part. Take a good look at your failed relationships, and try to learn what did and didn't work in each one.[12]

    • With each failed date or rejection you learn how to play the dating game better.
      • You'll be more aware of warning signs and red flags.
      • You'll also learn what places you thrive best in. Which kinds of dates you get the most out of (whether it be an activity or simply getting coffee).
      • You'll start noticing a pattern. If you go on a ream of bad dates and relationships, look back and find commonalities. Then the next time you pursue a relationship, you can try something new.
    • You'll discover more about yourself and what you really want out of life and a relationship.
  4. 4

    Don't let the love-hunt consume you. Make the effort to find your perfect match, but don't let that become who you are. This could lead to settling for the wrong person.

    • Others will recognize your joy in independence, individuality is attractive. [13]
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Expert Q&A

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  • Question

    What do I need to look for to find my perfect match?

    Louie Felix
    Dating Coach & Matchmaker

    Louie Felix is a Dating Coach and Matchmaker, and the founder and CEO of Matchmaking VIP, a company which provides concierge-level matchmaking services to clients around the world. He is also the COO of Agape Matchmaking based in New York City. With almost 16 years of professional matchmaking and dating coaching experience, Louie has served as CEO for the United States' two largest matchmaking companies serving over 50,000 clients. He has been featured as an expert matchmaker for shows on E! Entertainment Television, WeTV and the CW. He was also recently acknowledged as a top 5 worldwide matchmaker by both the International Dating Conference and the Matchmakers Alliance. Louie was also selected as one of America's top 10 Relationship Experts for the Great Love Debate National Tour.

    Louie Felix

    Dating Coach & Matchmaker

    Expert Answer

    Be open and willing to compromise, because chances are, you won't find someone who's 100% of what you're looking for. Think about what you want or who you see yourself with, then try to find a happy medium.

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  • Question

    This guy I like dates lots of girls but says he loves only me. What should I do?

    4 Ways to Find Your Perfect Match - wikiHow (22)

    Community Answer

    It sounds like he loves a lot of people. Tell him to prove that he loves only you. If he can't do that, move on.

    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission.Support wikiHow

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      Tips

      • Give second chances. If a first date doesn't go as imagined, the second date might.

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      • Avoid nitpicking. Little differences like, cats.vs.dogs or Harry Potter vs. Lord of the Rings, may not really matter. If you vibe well and enjoy each other's company that's what really counts.

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      • Embrace your nerves. You know you really want something if you are nervous about it. Your date's probably nervous too!

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      Warnings

      • Beware of manipulative people. You may have to make a mistake with one before you recognize what's happening, but you will learn from this and move on.

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      More References (4)

      About This Article

      4 Ways to Find Your Perfect Match - wikiHow (38)

      Co-authored by:

      Louie Felix

      Dating Coach & Matchmaker

      This article was co-authored by Louie Felix. Louie Felix is a Dating Coach and Matchmaker, and the founder and CEO of Matchmaking VIP, a company which provides concierge-level matchmaking services to clients around the world. He is also the COO of Agape Matchmaking based in New York City. With almost 16 years of professional matchmaking and dating coaching experience, Louie has served as CEO for the United States' two largest matchmaking companies serving over 50,000 clients. He has been featured as an expert matchmaker for shows on E! Entertainment Television, WeTV and the CW. He was also recently acknowledged as a top 5 worldwide matchmaker by both the International Dating Conference and the Matchmakers Alliance. Louie was also selected as one of America's top 10 Relationship Experts for the Great Love Debate National Tour. This article has been viewed 250,253 times.

      5 votes - 76%

      Co-authors: 36

      Updated: April 18, 2024

      Views:250,253

      Categories: Love

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      Reader Success Stories

      • 4 Ways to Find Your Perfect Match - wikiHow (39)

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        Dec 22, 2020

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      4 Ways to Find Your Perfect Match - wikiHow (2024)

      FAQs

      4 Ways to Find Your Perfect Match - wikiHow? ›

      When it comes to finding a perfect match, compatibility is key. You want to find someone you can talk to openly, have fun with, and share your interests and activities with.

      How can I found my perfect match? ›

      When it comes to finding a perfect match, compatibility is key. You want to find someone you can talk to openly, have fun with, and share your interests and activities with.

      How do I find my perfect mate? ›

      The best places to look for your ideal mate are at places where you enjoy spending time, as it's likely that this first shared interest will get things started. Places to spend time looking for your ideal mate include: Singles groups. These could be groups in local churches, dating services, or online.

      How to know if a man is the one? ›

      Here are some indicators that you might be moving beyond infatuation and truly falling in love with your boyfriend or partner:
      • You're opening up to him. ...
      • You include him in your plans. ...
      • His flaws seem charming. ...
      • You understand how he thinks. ...
      • Sex is better. ...
      • It's easier to stop thinking about him. ...
      • You make him a priority.
      Apr 26, 2024

      How to spot the right guy? ›

      Ask yourself whether he treats you with respect.

      He should respect your time, talents, and opinions. He should be okay with disagreeing. He shouldn't lie to you, second-guess you, jerk you around, or try to micromanage your life. If a guy is right for you, he will respect and value you as an individual.

      How do I find a true life partner? ›

      12 basic rules for long, lasting relationships
      1. The 'You'll find love when you're not looking' approach may be wrong. ...
      2. Go where people like the same things you like. ...
      3. Look up from your phone. ...
      4. Don't seek romance, seek partnership. ...
      5. Happy people attract people. ...
      6. Take time to be by yourself.
      Feb 13, 2023

      How do I find a compatible life partner? ›

      Put yourself out there by attending social events organized by your friends, by taking classes and chatting with classmates, and by signing up for dating sites, apps, and services. Be adventurous and open minded: try speed dating, for instance. The most common way to meet a future partner is through mutual friends.

      How do men act when they found the one? ›

      He's beaming with confidence.

      That sense of security and support can't come from a good relationship with a friend or a big promotion at work. A man who has found the one is also likely to express fewer negative emotions, too. They may be less judgmental, prone to anger, or nervous.

      How do you know if the universe wants you to be with someone? ›

      One of the tell-tale signs that the universe wants to bring two people together is when they share things in common. Studies show we tend to be attracted to people who are similar to us. Pay attention to any similarities you share with someone – it could be a good indicator of whether you're compatible with them.

      How do you know if he's your soulmate? ›

      How do you know if someone is your soulmate?
      • You felt an instant connection.
      • You "recognize" each other's souls.
      • Your love for each other is unconditional.
      • Eye contact is intense.
      • You feel physically drawn to each other.
      • The connection feels empathic.
      • You help each other grow.
      • You support each other.
      Mar 22, 2023

      How to tell if a man is genuine? ›

      Eight Traits Of A Genuine Man
      1. 1: They are laid back and casual about the first date. ...
      2. 2: He is very patient. ...
      3. 3: He listens actively and understands you. ...
      4. 4: A genuine man is in no rush. ...
      5. 5: A genuine man is an open book. ...
      6. 6: A genuine man will not hide his phone or keep it on silent.
      Jun 22, 2023

      How do you know you found your match? ›

      Compatibility is an important factor to consider when you begin dating someone. You may know you're compatible with someone when you feel like you relate to them, you enjoy their company, and your values align in important areas.

      How do I find my perfect life partner? ›

      Traits to look for in a life partner
      1. They have a solid foundation. ...
      2. They can communicate effectively. ...
      3. They share your values. ...
      4. They demonstrate respect. ...
      5. They show empathy. ...
      6. They recognize and appreciate their imperfections. ...
      7. They're open to influence. ...
      8. They give affection in the way you need.
      Apr 27, 2023

      How do I know if were a good match? ›

      • Your relationship and life goals are aligned with each other. You should be with someone who wants the same things out of a relationship as you. ...
      • No deal-breakers emerge. ...
      • You share common interests. ...
      • Likewise, you share common values. ...
      • There is physical attraction. ...
      • Overall, you feel at ease.

      How to find your matching partner? ›

      One of the most common ways to find a life partner is through mutual friends. Spend time with friends, and ask them to introduce you to theirs. Who knows? You may just meet the love of your life at a mutual friend's party or get together!

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