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Try these simple ways to focus on your love's happiness without sacrificing your own.
By Ashley Coleman·Updated October 26, 2020
In the beginning we seem to learn that love is all about us. But as we grow in wisdom, we realize that loving our partners also incorporates putting their needs before our own at times. In your relationship, what if you worked to try to “out love” one another? When both people are ensuring that the others’ needs are met, you end up with a lot happier and healthier of a relationship. So what are some simple ways that we can work to keep our partners happy and in great spirits?
01
Share a New Experience
Whether it’s traveling to a new country or simply trying paint night for the first time. There is something about sharing new adventures with your partner that can really perk them up. What’s that thing you two have been trying to get to that life keeps putting on hold? Find the time to commit to it and you’ll have some of the best conversations on the trip back home.
02
Make Them Laugh
I can’t tell you how amazing it is when my husband and I share a full belly laugh together. Whether it is dancing in the kitchen while preparing a meal or singing your favorite old songs at the top of your lungs. Find ways to make each other laugh. Life can be way too serious and a good laugh is sometimes all you need to cheer up.
03
Giving Them Some Alone Time
I know this may seem counter-intuitive, but especially in marriage or cohabitation, you are literally around your partner 24/7. It may be awesome just to take the kids out or take a night out on your own to literally give your partner some peace and quiet to do whatever it is that they want to do.
04
Doing Their Least Favorite Chore
Many of us hate certain chores, but they have to be done right? Every once in awhile, it may be cool if you take care of something that your partner normally doesn’t enjoy doing. So maybe you pick up the groceries this time or make sure that the laundry is washed and folded before they arrive home. Remember, Acts of Service is a big love language for some of our partners and it can make them truly feel loved.
05
Allow Them to Vent
This is a big one. At times, when our partners bring their issues to us, we immediately want to fix it for them or give our advice. Sometimes they literally just want you to lend them your ear. We all know how it is to just want to get something off of our chests. So make sure that you are allowing your partner the opportunity to do the same.
06
Simple Appreciation
It’s so easy to take our partners for granted. It’s not something that we do on purpose but the more familiar we get with anything, the less we tend to show gratitude. So whether it’s through simply telling them verbally, writing out a thoughtful card, or leaving post-it notes on the mirror, find some ways to tell them how much you truly appreciate them for who they are and what they mean in your life.
07
Undivided Attention
We live in a time where there are 20 million things at any given moment competing for our attention. Make sure that you find the time to really focus on your partner without any distractions. So whether it’s at dinner or right before bed, turn the phone off and leave the emails for later and give your partner your attention. It can truly go a long way.
08
Be Spontaneous
We get fixed in our habits and regimens, but I guarantee that a little spontaneity every now and again can’t hurt. Whether it’s in the bedroom, setting up a surprise massage or dinner or nabbing tickets to a game, being spontaneous can really propel your partner to their happy place. Never underestimate the power of doing something out of the norm to help make them smile.
09
Put Your Best Look Forward
Put on the dress they love or do a full face, whatever it may be. Get dressed up. Even if it’s just for dinner at home. In relationships, sometimes we stop trying to impress our partners. We figure we’ve “got them,” and that’s all she wrote. But think about how attracted you are to one another when you put yourself together to go out? Well, why wait for a special occasion? It could literally be a Wednesday and I bet it will lead to a very happy place for you both!
10
Pay Attention to the Little Things
It is not always about the grand gesture. It can be the simplest things that send our partners over the moon. For instance, I love tea! When I get up or after a long day and my husband has already put the pot on for tea for me, I am ecstatic. It’s the thoughtfulness that really makes the small things stand out. What are those things for your partner?
TOPICS: Black Love Dating Advice
